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NO PLATITUDES HERE. ONLY GENUINE, METICULOUS CARE FOR YOUR GRIEF.

You are not alone in your grief.

Cuaresma Counseling calls it loss & grief. Loss happens first, followed by grief.

Receive gentle, unwavering support from a warm-hearted grief counselor as you make sense of and work through your difficult loss.

Get help and support from a Certified Grief Informed Professional

A loss is a loss whether related to death or not.

Loss happens in different ways. A long-term relationship ends, a loved one is missing, or a pet dies. Grappling with the absence of something you once had is difficult and may remind you of the impermanence of life.

Not surprisingly, loss and grief have varying levels of complexity. The first priority at Cuaresma Counseling is to understand your challenges as a result of your loss. From there, we can determine the best approach taking into account your needs, circumstances, and culture.

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Get help and support from a Certified Grief Informed Professional

A loss is a loss whether related to death or not.

person with non-death loss in grief counseling in raleigh north carolina

Just Like Elephants

You can have support and help as you cope with your grief and navigate your day-to-day life in the wake of a loss.

The grieving process is a unique experience and one that is done alone, at your own pace and in your own way. However, individuals can work through it with the support and connection from others.

Elephants are known to recognize and respond to other elephants who are injured or in distress. They do not try to fix or make things better. They show their support by being there for the animal in pain or discomfort.

At Cuaresma Counseling, we will support you along the way, just like elephants do.

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mourners rights to their grief loss process shown by therapist in raleigh north carolina

Identifying how people can (and cannot) help you grieve, the list below outlines your full rights as someone who is mourning:

Experience your own unique grief  ♦  Talk about your grief  ♦  Feel a multitude of emotions  ♦  Be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits  ♦  Experience "griefbursts"  ♦  Make use of ritual  ♦  Embrace your spirituality  ♦  Search for meaning  ♦  Treasure your memories  ♦  Move forward toward your grief and heal

 

For more details about each right listed here, see The Mourner's Bill of Rights by Dr. Wolfelt.

Types of Loss & Grief

Identifying your form of loss does not take away the pain but signals the type of support you need

Ambiguous

When someone or something deeply changes or disappears in a confusing or unclear way

Examples

  • Family member develops a gambling addiction or has dementia
  • Friend in the military goes missing during their deployment
  • You immigrate to a new country

 

Anticipatory

An "as if" situation where an adult anticipates a looming loss or death and foresees uncertainties in their life as a result of changes in routine, communication, roles, and connection

Examples

  • Best friend receives a terminal medical diagnosis
  • You and your spouse have been separated for 10 months and face an impending divorce
  • You are about to graduate college and unsure when you will see your friends again

 

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Delayed

A complex and powerful response to unprocessed emotions that is different for each person and encounters something that does not allow them to process the grief right after the loss (e.g., not having the ability or time to do so)

Examples:

  • Experience dreams or nightmares involving the loved one they lost
  • Have somatic symptoms, such as fatigue, aches, and pains
  • Repeat memories of the loss

Disenfranchised

When someone has a loss that is not completely or somewhat identified, accepted, or validated socially and people are discouraged to talk about it or feel that they cannot bring it up with others to avoid social judgment

Examples

  • Death of a pet
  • Child commits suicide or friend dies from an drug overdose
  • Give child up for adoption or struggle with infertility

Prolonged

When a person loses someone close (through death), and they experience an intense yearning or longing for, or remains preoccupied with the deceased person for at least one year; formerly complicated grief

Examples

  • Inappropriate rumination becomes cyclical in the working memory
  • Difficulty integrating previous losses and unresolved trauma
  • Different person due to their grief
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Traumatic

Sudden, unexpected, and traumatic loss where the response is held in the body and usually involves emotional responses to a horrific event

Examples

  • Undergo an accidental or natural disaster
  • Witness a death
  • See intrusive images

Some Common Misconceptions about Loss & Grief

Learn about the multiple ways you can view grief and find your own healthy way to move through it

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Five Stages of Grief

Grief can be experienced in more than one way and not only through the popular five stages of grief (i.e., denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance).

You can choose to ignore this model (though Dr. Kübler-Ross may disagree). Some adults move between two states, one for emotion-focused coping and the other for problem-solving coping (see Stroebe and Schut). Others find comfort in carrying out four tasks of mourning (see Worden). Many more models exist.

Whichever model you follow or not, your grief is yours to manage in a healthy way that makes sense to you.

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Make Meaning + Get Closure

While Western culture says otherwise, adults can choose to not develop a profound meaning from their loss. This stems from Western culture's mindset of having to master all thing, including grief.

Again, you do not need to make meaning. Same goes for achieving closure. In some instances, closure is a myth!

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Length of Grieving

Grief can persist for more or less than one year. Perhaps your grief lasts for eight years or maybe never goes away but feels more manageable with each passing day.

The length of your grief is neither a reflection of you nor the relationship that you had with the person or experience lost. This is just how long it took you to work through it. Everyone does things differently, and that's okay.

Work around your grief does not entail an actual point of completion or end date.

Want to find space to process your loss?

Schedule a free, 15-minute video consultation with Janice, a Certified Grief Informed Professional.